How DARE they ignore us, these Google people. How dare they launch their Chrome browser for the peasant Windows masses and leave out the Mac Geniuses. One cannot stay silent in the face of such improper behavior..

All those Windows people are chatting about how great Chrome is. Especially those software development geeks downstairs. All day they have nothing else to talk about by Chrome, Chrome, Chrome..

Well, at least Google put a little box for Mac users to add themselves to updates about Chrome for Mac..

But it is not enough for me to just add my name to some mailing list. No. I decided that it is my duty to tell Google what they SHOULD put in the Chrome Mac version, so that when it comes out, we, the Mac Geniuses can feel good again about ourselves as we chat all day about the Mac’s Chrome and gain enjoyment and satisfaction from excluding the Windows peasants from the conversation..

So here it is. My wish list for Mac Chrome:

1. Mind Reader: I want Chrome to read my mind and correctly guess what site I want to browse to. Google Suggest on steroids, in other words.

2. Site Eraser: As someone with superior taste, I, the Mac user am entitled to erase any site I don’t like from the web. Mac Chrome should have an “Erase this Stupid Site” button on the toolbar, which permanently removes stupid sites from the internet. There should be no undo feature for this function.

3. Air Conditioning: Once installed, Mac Chrome should turn any Mac into an air conditioner. Cold air should start flowing from the Mac’s fan instead of hot air. This should be useful during heat waves, like the one Jordan suffered from in the last few days.

4. Site Enhancement Filters: As a Mac user, I am sensitive to badly written text, wrong information, low quality visual design and unfriendly navigation. Mac Chrome should have automatic filters that constantly improve the text quality, visual design and usability of any site I visit. As a service to the rest of the world, the changes resulting from these automatic filters can be permanently applied to the original site on the server, if I choose to do so.

5. Real Chrome: Mac Chrome should come with a real chrome toolbar, not some cheap paint that looks like chrome. I should be able to order my Mac Chrome with my name laser engraved on it, for free.

6. Electro Surge: It is well known by now that Google Chrome treats every tab as a separate “process”, so that when a certain web application misbehaves, it doesn’t freeze the whole browser. Well, for Mac Chrome an additional feature is needed. Once a web app misbehaves, Google Chrome should be able to send a powerful (but non-lethal) electrical surge to the developer of that app. If the person responsible for the misbehaving site is online at the moment, the electrical surge immediately burns their fingers and fries their computer in the process. If the person is not online, the surge awaits him/her in their mailbox.

7. Download Entire Web: Why should we, the Mac users, have to wait for pages to download. The Mac Chrome should have a “download entire internet” button. Downloading the entire web should not take more than three minutes. Google should invent a compression technology that enable us to store the entire web on a 512 MB flash memory stick.

Finally I just want to say that the Google Chrome team does not need to thank me. I am just doing my part in improving their product and the world.

Have a nice day..

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